Going Incognito
by Minato's Moustache
Summary: The Daybreaker kids were a pretty mixed bunch with an absolute ton of disturbing, creepy, and downright hilarious habits. I managed to get a video camera in - through the medium of Ash - and find out what was actually going on in that mansion. Kind of.


**Oh god I need to go die in a hole for writing this. /Headdesk **

**Inspired by x-blackmeadow-x's fanfiction Hair, so, so heavily. I don't even blame you if you don't review this. **

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><p>The Daybreaker kids were a pretty mixed bunch with an absolute ton of disturbing, creepy, and downright hilarious habits. I managed to get a video camera in (through the medium of Ash) and find out what the hell was actually going on in that mansion. This the story of what I discovered.<p>

"Yeah guys I'll just be right back," James smiled disarmingly to the other daybreakers, "I wanna go buy a book." He spun around and strode off in the direction of the escalators, leaving the other daybreakers looking really confused. Mainly, because the majority of them had never seen James' read a book that wasn't under 100 pages in his life, but also because he'd been acting weird all afternoon.

James turned the corner, and they decided to follow. It'd been a twisted family outing – Poppy had suggested, no, forced them to go – and so the entire of Daybreak were sat in a café trying to look inconspicuous. They got together a spy team in no time – 20 teenagers would be _too _suspicious – and within minutes Poppy, Ash – with his camera, oh yeah – Jez, Morgead and Quinn, plus Thierry (for babysitting reasons) were following after James slowly.

Hannah stopped Delos from jamming his fork into his iPhone and politely tried to explain that it was for calling people if he got lost at a bus station or something again.

James rounded a corner, his heart _racing _at the prospect of what he was about to do. He wasn't quite sure when it'd started, most likely with Poppy, but he was absolutely hooked, obsessed, _infatuated. _He walked straight past the bookstore and to the stairs leading down a floor.

The daybreakers, not so wisely, took the elevator and had to cram into the corners when he walked past.

"Where the hell is he going?" Ash asked, "we've been tailing him for _ages _and he walked _straight past the bookstore_."

Quinn turned around, a puzzled look on his face, "Yeah, we know, why are you talking so loudly? Also, why is your hoodie pressed so closely to your mouth."

He hadn't wanted to put the microphone in the bottom of his hoodie near his underwear, but the woman that bribed him with sweets outside had _insisted. _

The continued to follow James, the weird feeling in their stomachs – of worry, obviously – growing by the second. They followed him right out of the mall and down the street, where he finally stopped, looked around – the daybreakers dived behind a conveniently placed lamppost – and pushed the door to a shop open, sliding his shades on and entering.

"I'm seriously worried," Poppy whispered

"I'm sure he's fine, short people are always nice." Quinn chuckled.

"You're one to talk," Ash said quietly.

"I never had the chance to finish growing, did I?" Quinn snapped.

Everyone knew that Quinn and Poppy were attempting to start a 'short people united' branch of Daybreak and they met every Tuesday in the basement to measure each other and then drink their sorrows away – only it never worked out _because vampires can't even get drunk, damn it __**– **_but no one ever mentioned it.

James breathed in the familiar scent of hairspray that he associated so closely with euphoria. The shop attendant greeted him, as she always did, but he paid her very little attention.

Why?

Wigs.

They were everywhere, lining the walls on the mannequin heads, perfectly made up and so realistic – made from real human hair, beautiful, human hair – in every way. The shop attendant was used to the weird habits of the attractive boy that came in every few weeks. The hair in here was second hand to Poppy's hair only, and she didn't let him caress her hair. In fact, she had no idea what her hair did to him, especially when she was human and it was vibrant and that lovely coppery colour. It was still like that now, but it was distinctly different.

He reached out to stroke a wig, it was blond, short and slightly tousled but still very nice feeling.

James' was aware his obsession with hair was creepy.

Ash, Quinn, Jez, Morgead, and Poppy had their faces pressed against the glass.

"What's he doing?" Morgead asked Jez, who has her head in her hands to hold back the sniggers escaping from her mouth.

It was just at that moment that James glanced around and saw them, he froze in place and Jez gave up on holding back her laughter and began to howl with laughter.

I have never seen a vampire go so bright red upon being caught molesting hair pieces. Poppy really wanted to go inside and comfort him, but she was too busy convulsing with laughter. James stalked from the store and in the opposite direction, heading towards Daybreak HQ.

"James!" Poppy yelled, getting up and running after him. He completely ignored her.

"James, are you going to walk all the way home?"

"Yes."

Jez was at his other side in a second, "come on, it wasn't that bad. Loads of people have weird habits. My uncle used to collect bottle caps."

"Yeah but having a hair fetish is just fucking _weird._" Ash said as Morgead and he appeared, leaning heavily on each other due to their laughter.

"I hate you guys."

"Do you have wigs in your closet?"

"Go away."

"Does Poppy let you condition her hair?"

"Fuck off."

"Wait, is that why you have hair magazines under your bed?"

"Leave me alone."

Quinn watched them all walk off, then he went to haggle a cornetto from a vendor, and headed back to the mall to report on his findings. Although he wasn't quite sure how he was going to explain it.

Thierry also bought a cornetto, thoroughly pissed at the fact that no one seemed to remember he had been there.

And forever after, if James' ever threatened to do anything, everyone would touch their hair and threaten to send it into a Weird And Wacky Wonderful magazine, like they had when they discovered Ash's collection of Doctor Who cards.

The end.

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><p><strong>Next chapter: Quinn and Poppy try some drastic things to get themselves to grow. Namely, black magic, an invisibility cloak that doesn't work, and a Harry Potter RP group. Yep, I know. <strong>

**Guys I think I'm going to hell. Hair erotica is a major sin, I swear. **


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